When you want to know why there are not more paintings, - ask God - because God told me to "paint!" God's exact word to me was, "PAINT!" I had gone on a spiritual retreat, and I had asked God what I should do to serve God in this life, and God said "Paint!" God also said that he would never take away my art. However, God let the
devil attack me so much that painting became completely impossible. I am under a sea of suffering due to the attacks of the devil - attacks that God WON'T stop. (Although God could easily stop the attacks if He wanted to.)
For example, in 2013 I made plans - just mental plans - to make a small studio in which to paint watercolor landscapes. According to God's instructions, this should have been safe to do - it should not have incited the
devil to attack - and yet, it did! I was made to "pass out" (as opposed to falling asleep), when I was trying to collect names for my prayer list from a late night T.V. show.
So much for protection, from the attacks of the
devil, related to any type of painting. As a result, my right wrist, and hand, didn't work for about seven months. (When I passed out on my right wrist, the nerves went into shock.)
I had told Jesus that I didn't want to be crucified - meaning that I didn't want to suffer, but only serve without suffering. (I wanted to serve by painting as God had said to me years before) - And to my great surprise God did remove the suffering that had covered me up like a sea of suffering - The only suffering that remained was - I think, my own, and it was down around my ankles - and all my art perception was back at full power, as if it had never left me, but had also been covered up by the sea of suffering so that I could not perceive or access it.
As I was driving towards the airport crossroads, God gave my soul information about suffering. Then I had to choose: follow Jesus and hope that God would not dump the sea of suffering back onto me; or, opt for an easy life that would have little meaning or value to God and Christ. So at that point, there really is no choice; you either follow Jesus or you don't, and not following Jesus means spiritual death. So I tried to be brave and I said the fateful words, following the perfect example of Jesus as well as I could, "Thy Will be done." (Because Jesus is the ideal perfect model and if we don't attempt to follow Jesus then what is left?)
As soon as I said, "Thy Will be done" to God, the suffering returned instantly and the art was GONE - so it is God's will that I suffer. Why else all the information on suffering that was sent to my soul? And, why else the INSTANT return of suffering - the 'sea of suffering' - that covered up my perception of my art?
God used a trick - a legalism - not really taking the art away, but covering it up so I can't sense it due to the sea of suffering that completely covers both me and my ability to perceive and access the art.
I want to paint, because first of all, God said, "PAINT!" Second, painting is really my only way to give back what I have been given. I want to share beauty with other souls. Third, I need to be able to make some money to live on. And finally and most importantly, I want to be able to give money to a Christian Church* (*Which teaches original Christianity as taught by Jesus to his disciples), which was called by a real saint, "God's work on earth" in my hearing, and for my edification and benefit. So there it is.
Dear God, when will YOU let me paint with full protection? When will YOU give me back my art that is buried under that sea of suffering? YOU said, God, that YOU would NEVER take my art away, and yet, YOU buried it beyond my reach. Why tell someone to "Paint!", and then make it impossible to do so?